Relationships can be hard ya’ll. All relationships really but this week I’m focusing on our most signifigant relationships here so romantic partners or at least the people we live with here. Those long term day to day relationships do ebb and flow from very high highs and then lows and that’s totally normal. I know for me it’s harder to turn a low around than fall off from a high point, I think that’s normal too. In these sorts of relationships it’s the little things that make all the difference. This past week was my birthday and honey usually spoils me for these sorts of occasions. What really made me feel special was not the expensive designer wallet I’d been coveting but the fact he got up at 5 am to bake me a dairy free breakfast cake.
What makes for a good day is an ‘I miss you phone call’, some picked flowers or an unexpected dance in the kitchen. But it’s a two way street, well, two ways and two different ways, so is that a 4 way street? Of course you have to do nice things as well as have them done to you for this to work. I think we all already knew that though didn’t we? The other back and forth is noticing when your person does something nice and finding the opportunity to return the favor.
Over the years I’ve helped a lot of students in truly terrible academic standings. Here’s the thing I’ve noticed though once they start getting help and doing a little better that totally and instantly motivates them to do even better the next time. It’s sort of like the threads on a screw you’re at one point and you can easily go up or down the spiral. In fact it’s almost effortless. The little nice (or crappy) things you do go along way to deciding where you two are on that spiral.
No matter whether you are in a high point or a low point right now take some time this weekend to think about all the little things. The little things that you do and that others do for you in your relationships. Ask yourself are you even noticing when they do? Are you taking the opportunity to do those little things? I’m betting that if you do, this week will be even better!