Why do we take on so much and ask for so little? This really could apply to people of any gender and I can think of examples where it does easily, but it so often applies to women. Whether it’s fair or not and no matter what year it is women do have a lot of other people’s stuff landing on their shoulders. And I get why that is. We do things faster around the house (and better by our standards), want to compete at work and be the glue on our social networks together. We’re the finder of all lost things, the person doing all sorts of work outside the job description and making the reservations for everyone too. But that’s not the side of things we’re going to talk about today. Instead we’re going to ask why we just don’t ask for help sometimes.
The people around us know that we’re doing more than our share and would never begrudge giving us a hand. All we have to do is ask. Sure we might have to say ‘no I need you to do it now’ or ‘like this’ but we fall back on the fact it’s easier/faster/simpler if you do it on your own. Here’s the thing though it’s actually a little selfish for a couple of reasons. The first is it leads to a butt load of hurt feelings. You feel put upon, hard done by and you know all that is showing in your mood. If you’d be happier AND those around you would be too just ask for help! The next thing is you’re not equipping the people around you to care for themselves. Obviously you want your kids to be able to function at some point without you but the same really is true of your co-workers too. If you move on or they do you’re doing everyone a disservice by stepping up when you shouldn’t. No one wants to think about it but should something happen you want your family to be able to function in your absence. Doing everything for everyone else is actually a little selfish if you really think about it.
So this weekend think about if you are doing too much. If you are think about how you can scale back. Which trust me I know is hard. Could you instead encourage them to step up? Is a frank conversation in order? If you think hard on the subject and come up with nothing is someone doing too much for you? Because not only is that not fair to them you’re probably missing out too. If that’s the case find a few ways you can step up to the plate and lighten their load!
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